Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Help
Am I going nuts! My home page no longer has a space where I can simply enter a web address. All I have is a search function. I'm sure before I went away at Christmas I used to be able to put in a web address. I wish I knew the technical terms for these things. And... Hello doesn't seem to recognise me any more so I can't post photos. Went through a stage last night where it kept offering to post on another personal blog I have but wouldn't let me change to sweet sweat. Now it doesn't know me at all! Has anyone else been having difficulties with Hello? And this little gizmo that toggles between italic and regular type doesn't switch as it should. That's it, I'm giving up for tonight!
Sunday, January 23, 2005
The Waifs
Finally I got to see 'The Waifs'. I've been entranced by this folk/blues group since my youngest son gave me their CD for Christmas 2003 and last night they came to Darwin and didn't disappoint. What a great group live. They come across as excellent musicians with an energetic and powerful performance. Discovery nightclub would not have been my choice of venue but the place was packed to capacity and the crowd went wild for the music. Fantastic!
So, inspired, I penned my version of a waif-like song today. I have a friend who is always encouraging me to write some lyrics he can put to music, so tomorrow ... They don't rhyme or scan terribly well but it's a start, maybe my musical friend can help (and hey I'm being very brave sharing them with you so don't be too critical)
Well, OK, it sounds nothing like a waifs' song! - Constructive comments including re-writing encouraged.
Greener grass
I'm movin' out and driftin' on
The grass it looks much greener
On the other side of town
Ch: Think girl
take it slow
hold it in your heart
look to those you love
'cause one day that road runs out
Babies made and lovers left
eyes on the horizon
seeking, looking, staring, leaving
moving, always moving on
Ch
I've no time for retrospection
Looking back's a type of death
Gotta make a mile today
and search for my release
Ch
A glance over my shoulder
and now I see what's real
Those green fields shine
in the sunlight
of all the love
I left behind
Ch
So, inspired, I penned my version of a waif-like song today. I have a friend who is always encouraging me to write some lyrics he can put to music, so tomorrow ... They don't rhyme or scan terribly well but it's a start, maybe my musical friend can help (and hey I'm being very brave sharing them with you so don't be too critical)
Well, OK, it sounds nothing like a waifs' song! - Constructive comments including re-writing encouraged.
Greener grass
I'm movin' out and driftin' on
The grass it looks much greener
On the other side of town
Ch: Think girl
take it slow
hold it in your heart
look to those you love
'cause one day that road runs out
Babies made and lovers left
eyes on the horizon
seeking, looking, staring, leaving
moving, always moving on
Ch
I've no time for retrospection
Looking back's a type of death
Gotta make a mile today
and search for my release
Ch
A glance over my shoulder
and now I see what's real
Those green fields shine
in the sunlight
of all the love
I left behind
Ch
Time management and Good intentions
So this is going to be a bit of a stream of consciousness posting and if you aren't all bored witless within the first paragraph and read on, who knows, you might find something in here you can relate to. That's one of the things I enjoy about reading other people's blogs, quite often you find some little gem that says "oh, that's exactly how I feel" ... it makes you feel part of the human race and reminds you we are often one under the skin.
My problem today is that I'm drifting. Started off with firm plans and good intentions but started too late and time keeps catching up with me. I've been catching up on favourite blogs I've neglected over the past month and when I look at my watch and see the past 2 hours have flown and I haven't written a word on my blog, nor discovered any new blogs, nor even read all the ones I wanted to, let alone attending to the mundane and necessary facts of life such as hanging the washing or even looking at the ironing...well it depresses me a bit to be frank. How do all these other bloggers I read have time for a life, bringing up children, being active members of community organisations, reading (and remembering) good literature, understanding new technology, linking to fascinating articles they've read on the web.... I feel quite inadequate.
Things drop through my mind like pebbles into a dark sea. Often I write whole blog posts in my head while staring across the park from my balcony chair. By the time I've walked to the computer, I can't even remember the topic I wanted to discuss. And books, I read books voraciously, one after another - then can't remember a thing about them.
I was given a book on my recent holidays that bookshop owner told me I might as well take as he didn't think anyone would buy it. Maybe that's one of the problems, I just choose books randomly, usually by the cover, the title and the blurbs on the back, followed by a short perusal of the publisher's review of the story. Perhaps if I devoted myself to recommended books, or acknowledged 'literature' or something...anyway I enjoy reading, while I am reading a book it transports me completely to that place. As it turned out, the 'freebie' was a really good yarn and gave me lots of those 'identification points' that made it speak to me. Here's a few quotes before I forget and my comments on them:
the best a man can get - john o'farrell
Parental guilt trip: "But on top of this, I had another reason for not wanting to spend hours and hours with my children just yet. It was something that no mother or father was brave enough to admit, a guilty secret that I suspected we all shared but dared not mention for fear of being thought bad parents: Small children are boring. We all pretend that we find every little nuance of our offspring wonderful and fascinating, but we're all lying to ourselves. Small children are boring; it's the tedium that dare not speak its name."
... oh God! at last, shrug off the guilt; maybe it is normal to feel this way sometimes no matter how much you love them, 3 hours spent pushing a swing or running first to top then the bottom of the slippery slide or playing 'snap' can be just plain boring!
On lies, omissions and putting your head in the sand: "The stupid thing was that the only reason I hadn't told him was because I hadn't wanted to upset him. As a long-term strategy this had never been very likely to succeed." and another: "Michael, you have a tendency to put off problems until they are no longer problems but have developed into full-scale disasters,"... "And this was pretty much the gist of what my bank manager said to me sixteen years later when we spoke on the phone about my outstanding mortgage payments."
... Lies are something I've never understood and yet I seem to have got myself involved with some downright dedicated liars in my lifetime. Even when I watch a movie with a complicated plot I just keep thinking: "why doesn't he just tell her the truth" (thus of course making many movies very short indeed). Yes, cut to the chase, give me the facts and let's agree a bottom line are my ways of dealing with stuff. Maybe I'm too simple to understand life's complexities or too stupid to be able to carry off the lies and remember who thinks what, or perhaps I'm not careful enough of others' feelings to bother stretching the facts to fit their comfort zone, but hell, in my experience, any lie, small or large just causes trouble. Why not just tell the truth, stand up for your own right to act in accordance with your own desires and beliefs and give others the opportunity to base their decisions and actions on fact rather than some convoluted fiction? Lies within families are the worst. Someone knows this but someone else must not be told, hiding shameful secrets, living a pretence...to me they just add so much unnecessary stress to life and end up hurting the very people they are often designed to protect... rant over, as I said, I just don't get it!
Well that successfully ate up another hour of my life and now I'm too late to go to yoga...bang goes another good intention!... or maybe I could hurry and catch 45 minutes, that's the go...talk to you later!
My problem today is that I'm drifting. Started off with firm plans and good intentions but started too late and time keeps catching up with me. I've been catching up on favourite blogs I've neglected over the past month and when I look at my watch and see the past 2 hours have flown and I haven't written a word on my blog, nor discovered any new blogs, nor even read all the ones I wanted to, let alone attending to the mundane and necessary facts of life such as hanging the washing or even looking at the ironing...well it depresses me a bit to be frank. How do all these other bloggers I read have time for a life, bringing up children, being active members of community organisations, reading (and remembering) good literature, understanding new technology, linking to fascinating articles they've read on the web.... I feel quite inadequate.
Things drop through my mind like pebbles into a dark sea. Often I write whole blog posts in my head while staring across the park from my balcony chair. By the time I've walked to the computer, I can't even remember the topic I wanted to discuss. And books, I read books voraciously, one after another - then can't remember a thing about them.
I was given a book on my recent holidays that bookshop owner told me I might as well take as he didn't think anyone would buy it. Maybe that's one of the problems, I just choose books randomly, usually by the cover, the title and the blurbs on the back, followed by a short perusal of the publisher's review of the story. Perhaps if I devoted myself to recommended books, or acknowledged 'literature' or something...anyway I enjoy reading, while I am reading a book it transports me completely to that place. As it turned out, the 'freebie' was a really good yarn and gave me lots of those 'identification points' that made it speak to me. Here's a few quotes before I forget and my comments on them:
the best a man can get - john o'farrell
Parental guilt trip: "But on top of this, I had another reason for not wanting to spend hours and hours with my children just yet. It was something that no mother or father was brave enough to admit, a guilty secret that I suspected we all shared but dared not mention for fear of being thought bad parents: Small children are boring. We all pretend that we find every little nuance of our offspring wonderful and fascinating, but we're all lying to ourselves. Small children are boring; it's the tedium that dare not speak its name."
... oh God! at last, shrug off the guilt; maybe it is normal to feel this way sometimes no matter how much you love them, 3 hours spent pushing a swing or running first to top then the bottom of the slippery slide or playing 'snap' can be just plain boring!
On lies, omissions and putting your head in the sand: "The stupid thing was that the only reason I hadn't told him was because I hadn't wanted to upset him. As a long-term strategy this had never been very likely to succeed." and another: "Michael, you have a tendency to put off problems until they are no longer problems but have developed into full-scale disasters,"... "And this was pretty much the gist of what my bank manager said to me sixteen years later when we spoke on the phone about my outstanding mortgage payments."
... Lies are something I've never understood and yet I seem to have got myself involved with some downright dedicated liars in my lifetime. Even when I watch a movie with a complicated plot I just keep thinking: "why doesn't he just tell her the truth" (thus of course making many movies very short indeed). Yes, cut to the chase, give me the facts and let's agree a bottom line are my ways of dealing with stuff. Maybe I'm too simple to understand life's complexities or too stupid to be able to carry off the lies and remember who thinks what, or perhaps I'm not careful enough of others' feelings to bother stretching the facts to fit their comfort zone, but hell, in my experience, any lie, small or large just causes trouble. Why not just tell the truth, stand up for your own right to act in accordance with your own desires and beliefs and give others the opportunity to base their decisions and actions on fact rather than some convoluted fiction? Lies within families are the worst. Someone knows this but someone else must not be told, hiding shameful secrets, living a pretence...to me they just add so much unnecessary stress to life and end up hurting the very people they are often designed to protect... rant over, as I said, I just don't get it!
Well that successfully ate up another hour of my life and now I'm too late to go to yoga...bang goes another good intention!... or maybe I could hurry and catch 45 minutes, that's the go...talk to you later!
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Holiday highlights and reality bites!
Yes, I did have a lovely break, caught up with all my family, had dinners and lunches with good friends, spent quality time with the sons and the grandchildren and now that I'm back in Darwin I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing here on my own so far away from all the people I care about. The job I used to find so varied, interesting and challenging is starting to pall after 5 years and I don't know how I'm going to face another year round of the same problems minus a few of my favourite people. My office looked like a victim of the Tsunami and after a day spent deleting 215 of the 300 emails and moving boxes and boxes of paper from my floor to other people's desks I decided that really, all I wanted to do was throw in a match and walk off into the sunset. Then a kind friend brought over the makings of a barbecue including wine and cooked for me ,which lightened my mood considerably.
Second day back wasn't so bad and was capped off by participating in an exciting new sport (see below) and friends cooked a wonderful Asian dinner aboard their new home - a catamaran berthed in a Darwin marina - which we ate on deck while the sun burned orange into the sea and deep purple monsoon storms chased each other across the sky. Sigh... I'm feeling torn in two!
Holiday highlights:
KIDSTUFF:
Mountain climber: 1.5year old grandson, barely starting to walk but a great climber, rescued from the cross bars of the wire clothes airer where he was happily dangling awaiting a crash which may well have broken both arms and legs - wow that kid is wild!
Bravery Award: goes to master 2.5 who 'saved' his 4 year old brother from the new Christmas present, a plastic, roaring, chomping dinosaur by decapitating it with a baseball bat!
Win/Win Award: 7-year old seeking the judgement of Solomon from Nana one early morning: "Daddy said I could have spam and eggs for breakfast but Mummy said I had to have coco-puffs, so I thought, if I have the coco-puffs now, first, then later I could have the spam and eggs - do you think that would be alright?....whoo! there should be a course for Nanas on how to negotiate this minefield.
Feel Good Award: Miss 3.5 squealing with delight every time clever Nana turned the perfect sandcastle out of a red plastic bucket...Yes!
CHRISTMAS PRESENTS: Uniformly good- not a dud amongst them
SHOPPING HITS AND MISSES: Luminous green beach pants and matching green and yellow top which looked sensational in the shop made me feel like a giant alfalfa sprout when they reached home. They are both nice in isolation but together... don't think so! Agonising purchase of a new wallet to replace aged and frayed one turned sour when I discovered it won't actually do up once I get my limited supply of cards filed in the numerous slots made expressly for this purpose...grrr! Lots of boring but very necessary new underwear (gone the days where this was a style choice, now coolness and comfort are the criteria and it's so much more difficult to find than the good looking and comfortless stuff). Shoes which have turned out to be a size too large - shouldn't have had that wine at lunch! Real cheap yet stylish and comfortable jeans from Best'n'Less store.
SELF-INDULGENCE: The works at the Ginseng Bath-house - bliss!
SELF-AWAKENING: Public transport in Sydney and Wollongong isn't all that bad as long as you allow enough time. Ferries from Circular Quay to Darling Harbour (maybe 1 kilometre distance) go via the other side of the harbour and numerous small wharves and the journey, while picturesque, takes an hour! On Sydney buses you meet people who tell you their life stories in 15 minute grabs.
RANDOM OBSERVATIONS: The dog, once bathed, will stop scratching for two days. I think I'd like to be retired and living at Narrawallee (small beachside village-our holiday destination- on Sth Coast of NSW with a fabulous beach and friendly locals). Young children are delightful, exhausting and boring in approximately equal measure. Other people's financial and lifestyle priorities are incomprehensible. Darwin is peaceful, gentle, the air is fresh and there are hardly any cars on the road.
Second day back wasn't so bad and was capped off by participating in an exciting new sport (see below) and friends cooked a wonderful Asian dinner aboard their new home - a catamaran berthed in a Darwin marina - which we ate on deck while the sun burned orange into the sea and deep purple monsoon storms chased each other across the sky. Sigh... I'm feeling torn in two!
Holiday highlights:
KIDSTUFF:
Mountain climber: 1.5year old grandson, barely starting to walk but a great climber, rescued from the cross bars of the wire clothes airer where he was happily dangling awaiting a crash which may well have broken both arms and legs - wow that kid is wild!
Bravery Award: goes to master 2.5 who 'saved' his 4 year old brother from the new Christmas present, a plastic, roaring, chomping dinosaur by decapitating it with a baseball bat!
Win/Win Award: 7-year old seeking the judgement of Solomon from Nana one early morning: "Daddy said I could have spam and eggs for breakfast but Mummy said I had to have coco-puffs, so I thought, if I have the coco-puffs now, first, then later I could have the spam and eggs - do you think that would be alright?....whoo! there should be a course for Nanas on how to negotiate this minefield.
Feel Good Award: Miss 3.5 squealing with delight every time clever Nana turned the perfect sandcastle out of a red plastic bucket...Yes!
CHRISTMAS PRESENTS: Uniformly good- not a dud amongst them
SHOPPING HITS AND MISSES: Luminous green beach pants and matching green and yellow top which looked sensational in the shop made me feel like a giant alfalfa sprout when they reached home. They are both nice in isolation but together... don't think so! Agonising purchase of a new wallet to replace aged and frayed one turned sour when I discovered it won't actually do up once I get my limited supply of cards filed in the numerous slots made expressly for this purpose...grrr! Lots of boring but very necessary new underwear (gone the days where this was a style choice, now coolness and comfort are the criteria and it's so much more difficult to find than the good looking and comfortless stuff). Shoes which have turned out to be a size too large - shouldn't have had that wine at lunch! Real cheap yet stylish and comfortable jeans from Best'n'Less store.
SELF-INDULGENCE: The works at the Ginseng Bath-house - bliss!
SELF-AWAKENING: Public transport in Sydney and Wollongong isn't all that bad as long as you allow enough time. Ferries from Circular Quay to Darling Harbour (maybe 1 kilometre distance) go via the other side of the harbour and numerous small wharves and the journey, while picturesque, takes an hour! On Sydney buses you meet people who tell you their life stories in 15 minute grabs.
RANDOM OBSERVATIONS: The dog, once bathed, will stop scratching for two days. I think I'd like to be retired and living at Narrawallee (small beachside village-our holiday destination- on Sth Coast of NSW with a fabulous beach and friendly locals). Young children are delightful, exhausting and boring in approximately equal measure. Other people's financial and lifestyle priorities are incomprehensible. Darwin is peaceful, gentle, the air is fresh and there are hardly any cars on the road.
Slinking back to blogland
I have a sore arse (bottom, derriere, ass, bum -call it what you will, it's sore).
What way is this for our circumspect night-rider to begin blogging again after so long an absence I hear you ask? Well, with an absolute surfeit of unblogged anecdotes from my vacation, at the moment, it's the closest thing to, well, my heart - perhaps in view of the fact that I'm sitting on a hard office chair writing to you. So stopper your kids' ears and cut me some slack guys, I'm trying to get started on my new year's resolutions and last night I accepted an invitation to join a dragon boat racing crew at practice. Yes, my new year's resolutions included one to exercise at least 3 times a week rather than cutting it down to one as I did far too often in the dying stages of 2004.
Dragon boat racing- for the uninitiated- is a 2000-year-old Chinese sport. Long, narrow canoes with room for about 20 paddlers race maniacally across still water. The main feature of dragon boat racing is that the paddlers need to be synchronised so the boat makes maximum speed for minimum effort. Hah!! There is no minimum effort involved in this sport. And the seats are hard.
You need to throw yourself forward till your chest touches your knees, keeping arms outstretched and straight, dig the paddle deep into the water at the furthest point, drag it back through unyielding water that quickly feels the consistency of toffee, all the while pushing your body back as far as it will go, then quickly remove the paddle from the water, throw yourself forward and repeat - for an hour, at a speed resembling 'on the double' as barked by one of those insane platoon sergeants from a B-grade American boot camp movie. Oh, and staying in time is essential, not least to avoid colliding with the Amazon in the seat in front of you so that she doesn't knock your teeth out on the back swing.
Surprisingly my arms and shoulders don't feel too stiff - maybe they will when the numbness wears off! But my bum- oh dear Lord, I think the bones have cut clear through the skin.
The people are very friendly and welcoming - guess they have to be to find enough suckers to make up a team- and I must say the rhythmic nature of it has a grace similar to dancing that appeals. I just wish the rhythm was more in tune with the waltz running through my head rather than the chipmunks (anyone remember them? I tried to think of something ridiculously fast and modern but failed). I found digging in only every second stroke helped but I don't know whether I can get away with this as a long-term proposition!
I get two more free trials before I have to pay $90 to join the club for a year. Do I really want to punish myself this much twice a week to try to get fit or should I just go back to making excuses as to why I won't have a gentle hour walk this afternoon?
What way is this for our circumspect night-rider to begin blogging again after so long an absence I hear you ask? Well, with an absolute surfeit of unblogged anecdotes from my vacation, at the moment, it's the closest thing to, well, my heart - perhaps in view of the fact that I'm sitting on a hard office chair writing to you. So stopper your kids' ears and cut me some slack guys, I'm trying to get started on my new year's resolutions and last night I accepted an invitation to join a dragon boat racing crew at practice. Yes, my new year's resolutions included one to exercise at least 3 times a week rather than cutting it down to one as I did far too often in the dying stages of 2004.
Dragon boat racing- for the uninitiated- is a 2000-year-old Chinese sport. Long, narrow canoes with room for about 20 paddlers race maniacally across still water. The main feature of dragon boat racing is that the paddlers need to be synchronised so the boat makes maximum speed for minimum effort. Hah!! There is no minimum effort involved in this sport. And the seats are hard.
You need to throw yourself forward till your chest touches your knees, keeping arms outstretched and straight, dig the paddle deep into the water at the furthest point, drag it back through unyielding water that quickly feels the consistency of toffee, all the while pushing your body back as far as it will go, then quickly remove the paddle from the water, throw yourself forward and repeat - for an hour, at a speed resembling 'on the double' as barked by one of those insane platoon sergeants from a B-grade American boot camp movie. Oh, and staying in time is essential, not least to avoid colliding with the Amazon in the seat in front of you so that she doesn't knock your teeth out on the back swing.
Surprisingly my arms and shoulders don't feel too stiff - maybe they will when the numbness wears off! But my bum- oh dear Lord, I think the bones have cut clear through the skin.
The people are very friendly and welcoming - guess they have to be to find enough suckers to make up a team- and I must say the rhythmic nature of it has a grace similar to dancing that appeals. I just wish the rhythm was more in tune with the waltz running through my head rather than the chipmunks (anyone remember them? I tried to think of something ridiculously fast and modern but failed). I found digging in only every second stroke helped but I don't know whether I can get away with this as a long-term proposition!
I get two more free trials before I have to pay $90 to join the club for a year. Do I really want to punish myself this much twice a week to try to get fit or should I just go back to making excuses as to why I won't have a gentle hour walk this afternoon?
