Sunday, January 23, 2005
Time management and Good intentions
So this is going to be a bit of a stream of consciousness posting and if you aren't all bored witless within the first paragraph and read on, who knows, you might find something in here you can relate to. That's one of the things I enjoy about reading other people's blogs, quite often you find some little gem that says "oh, that's exactly how I feel" ... it makes you feel part of the human race and reminds you we are often one under the skin.
My problem today is that I'm drifting. Started off with firm plans and good intentions but started too late and time keeps catching up with me. I've been catching up on favourite blogs I've neglected over the past month and when I look at my watch and see the past 2 hours have flown and I haven't written a word on my blog, nor discovered any new blogs, nor even read all the ones I wanted to, let alone attending to the mundane and necessary facts of life such as hanging the washing or even looking at the ironing...well it depresses me a bit to be frank. How do all these other bloggers I read have time for a life, bringing up children, being active members of community organisations, reading (and remembering) good literature, understanding new technology, linking to fascinating articles they've read on the web.... I feel quite inadequate.
Things drop through my mind like pebbles into a dark sea. Often I write whole blog posts in my head while staring across the park from my balcony chair. By the time I've walked to the computer, I can't even remember the topic I wanted to discuss. And books, I read books voraciously, one after another - then can't remember a thing about them.
I was given a book on my recent holidays that bookshop owner told me I might as well take as he didn't think anyone would buy it. Maybe that's one of the problems, I just choose books randomly, usually by the cover, the title and the blurbs on the back, followed by a short perusal of the publisher's review of the story. Perhaps if I devoted myself to recommended books, or acknowledged 'literature' or something...anyway I enjoy reading, while I am reading a book it transports me completely to that place. As it turned out, the 'freebie' was a really good yarn and gave me lots of those 'identification points' that made it speak to me. Here's a few quotes before I forget and my comments on them:
the best a man can get - john o'farrell
Parental guilt trip: "But on top of this, I had another reason for not wanting to spend hours and hours with my children just yet. It was something that no mother or father was brave enough to admit, a guilty secret that I suspected we all shared but dared not mention for fear of being thought bad parents: Small children are boring. We all pretend that we find every little nuance of our offspring wonderful and fascinating, but we're all lying to ourselves. Small children are boring; it's the tedium that dare not speak its name."
... oh God! at last, shrug off the guilt; maybe it is normal to feel this way sometimes no matter how much you love them, 3 hours spent pushing a swing or running first to top then the bottom of the slippery slide or playing 'snap' can be just plain boring!
On lies, omissions and putting your head in the sand: "The stupid thing was that the only reason I hadn't told him was because I hadn't wanted to upset him. As a long-term strategy this had never been very likely to succeed." and another: "Michael, you have a tendency to put off problems until they are no longer problems but have developed into full-scale disasters,"... "And this was pretty much the gist of what my bank manager said to me sixteen years later when we spoke on the phone about my outstanding mortgage payments."
... Lies are something I've never understood and yet I seem to have got myself involved with some downright dedicated liars in my lifetime. Even when I watch a movie with a complicated plot I just keep thinking: "why doesn't he just tell her the truth" (thus of course making many movies very short indeed). Yes, cut to the chase, give me the facts and let's agree a bottom line are my ways of dealing with stuff. Maybe I'm too simple to understand life's complexities or too stupid to be able to carry off the lies and remember who thinks what, or perhaps I'm not careful enough of others' feelings to bother stretching the facts to fit their comfort zone, but hell, in my experience, any lie, small or large just causes trouble. Why not just tell the truth, stand up for your own right to act in accordance with your own desires and beliefs and give others the opportunity to base their decisions and actions on fact rather than some convoluted fiction? Lies within families are the worst. Someone knows this but someone else must not be told, hiding shameful secrets, living a pretence...to me they just add so much unnecessary stress to life and end up hurting the very people they are often designed to protect... rant over, as I said, I just don't get it!
Well that successfully ate up another hour of my life and now I'm too late to go to yoga...bang goes another good intention!... or maybe I could hurry and catch 45 minutes, that's the go...talk to you later!
My problem today is that I'm drifting. Started off with firm plans and good intentions but started too late and time keeps catching up with me. I've been catching up on favourite blogs I've neglected over the past month and when I look at my watch and see the past 2 hours have flown and I haven't written a word on my blog, nor discovered any new blogs, nor even read all the ones I wanted to, let alone attending to the mundane and necessary facts of life such as hanging the washing or even looking at the ironing...well it depresses me a bit to be frank. How do all these other bloggers I read have time for a life, bringing up children, being active members of community organisations, reading (and remembering) good literature, understanding new technology, linking to fascinating articles they've read on the web.... I feel quite inadequate.
Things drop through my mind like pebbles into a dark sea. Often I write whole blog posts in my head while staring across the park from my balcony chair. By the time I've walked to the computer, I can't even remember the topic I wanted to discuss. And books, I read books voraciously, one after another - then can't remember a thing about them.
I was given a book on my recent holidays that bookshop owner told me I might as well take as he didn't think anyone would buy it. Maybe that's one of the problems, I just choose books randomly, usually by the cover, the title and the blurbs on the back, followed by a short perusal of the publisher's review of the story. Perhaps if I devoted myself to recommended books, or acknowledged 'literature' or something...anyway I enjoy reading, while I am reading a book it transports me completely to that place. As it turned out, the 'freebie' was a really good yarn and gave me lots of those 'identification points' that made it speak to me. Here's a few quotes before I forget and my comments on them:
the best a man can get - john o'farrell
Parental guilt trip: "But on top of this, I had another reason for not wanting to spend hours and hours with my children just yet. It was something that no mother or father was brave enough to admit, a guilty secret that I suspected we all shared but dared not mention for fear of being thought bad parents: Small children are boring. We all pretend that we find every little nuance of our offspring wonderful and fascinating, but we're all lying to ourselves. Small children are boring; it's the tedium that dare not speak its name."
... oh God! at last, shrug off the guilt; maybe it is normal to feel this way sometimes no matter how much you love them, 3 hours spent pushing a swing or running first to top then the bottom of the slippery slide or playing 'snap' can be just plain boring!
On lies, omissions and putting your head in the sand: "The stupid thing was that the only reason I hadn't told him was because I hadn't wanted to upset him. As a long-term strategy this had never been very likely to succeed." and another: "Michael, you have a tendency to put off problems until they are no longer problems but have developed into full-scale disasters,"... "And this was pretty much the gist of what my bank manager said to me sixteen years later when we spoke on the phone about my outstanding mortgage payments."
... Lies are something I've never understood and yet I seem to have got myself involved with some downright dedicated liars in my lifetime. Even when I watch a movie with a complicated plot I just keep thinking: "why doesn't he just tell her the truth" (thus of course making many movies very short indeed). Yes, cut to the chase, give me the facts and let's agree a bottom line are my ways of dealing with stuff. Maybe I'm too simple to understand life's complexities or too stupid to be able to carry off the lies and remember who thinks what, or perhaps I'm not careful enough of others' feelings to bother stretching the facts to fit their comfort zone, but hell, in my experience, any lie, small or large just causes trouble. Why not just tell the truth, stand up for your own right to act in accordance with your own desires and beliefs and give others the opportunity to base their decisions and actions on fact rather than some convoluted fiction? Lies within families are the worst. Someone knows this but someone else must not be told, hiding shameful secrets, living a pretence...to me they just add so much unnecessary stress to life and end up hurting the very people they are often designed to protect... rant over, as I said, I just don't get it!
Well that successfully ate up another hour of my life and now I'm too late to go to yoga...bang goes another good intention!... or maybe I could hurry and catch 45 minutes, that's the go...talk to you later!
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