Monday, April 11, 2005
Filled up and fed up
Yeah well I'm dragging this post out of myself because I think I've worked out what's happened to my links. The new photo host gives me such large photos that they cover the side-bar. At least that's what I think's happening because the side-bar disappeared last week after I posted some large pictures and now it's disappeared again. I really like the larger pictures but the thing is, I don't know how to adjust the size, so can't do much about the disappearing links...ah, sometimes lately I just feel like blogging is more trouble than it's worth. So tonight I'm blogging just to fill up a space and see if my side-bar reappears.
I feel this obligation to blog something and often don't have anything to say. Then there's my blogging friends and their problems. One I've mentioned whose blog simply disappeared, never to be seen again. Another has suffered a monumental loss of function on his computer and lost all his files going back 20 years. He had numerous back-up strategies, all of which appear to have failed for one reason or another. Go visit him and cheer him up or offer some good advice if you can. He's a really talented man and a good writer. Then of course there's that smartass cutie in the west who I could always rely on for a good laugh and she's disappeared from blogland too.
What else is making me depressed and nervous and stressed and feeling as though blogging is the last thing I'm interested in? Well there's a frantic two weeks at work before I fly off again this week -running from morning to night. Then there's my former partner who's just suffered a traumatic week in hospital having a stent put in a coronary artery - and that's made me feel worried and unsettled. Then there's my beloved sons - the one who likes me and wants to talk to me is going a long way away and I'll miss him and I guess he's on my mind, the one who never talks to me and rarely shows any interest in seeing me is tormenting me with his insecurities and the one who is dutiful towards me is getting no communication from me at all because he keeps getting put to the bottom of a very long list of my obligations and that makes me feel guilty.
I'm sleeping badly. Most nights I'm up every two hours wandering the house between naps. Two nights ago I didn't go to bed till 4.30am because I knew I wouldn't sleep. The night before that I went to bed at midnight, stayed awake till 1.30 whereupon I got up and stayed up till 4am. Makes you a bit sluggish the next day all this nocturnal life.
...and I can't imagine why anyone would bother reading this tripe I write. So until I can think of something more interesting to write about... goodnight!
......................................................................................................................................
Random thought:
The traffic lights glowing green along the highway looked so beautiful. Was it just the association of their function that made the red ones appear threatening?
I feel this obligation to blog something and often don't have anything to say. Then there's my blogging friends and their problems. One I've mentioned whose blog simply disappeared, never to be seen again. Another has suffered a monumental loss of function on his computer and lost all his files going back 20 years. He had numerous back-up strategies, all of which appear to have failed for one reason or another. Go visit him and cheer him up or offer some good advice if you can. He's a really talented man and a good writer. Then of course there's that smartass cutie in the west who I could always rely on for a good laugh and she's disappeared from blogland too.
What else is making me depressed and nervous and stressed and feeling as though blogging is the last thing I'm interested in? Well there's a frantic two weeks at work before I fly off again this week -running from morning to night. Then there's my former partner who's just suffered a traumatic week in hospital having a stent put in a coronary artery - and that's made me feel worried and unsettled. Then there's my beloved sons - the one who likes me and wants to talk to me is going a long way away and I'll miss him and I guess he's on my mind, the one who never talks to me and rarely shows any interest in seeing me is tormenting me with his insecurities and the one who is dutiful towards me is getting no communication from me at all because he keeps getting put to the bottom of a very long list of my obligations and that makes me feel guilty.
I'm sleeping badly. Most nights I'm up every two hours wandering the house between naps. Two nights ago I didn't go to bed till 4.30am because I knew I wouldn't sleep. The night before that I went to bed at midnight, stayed awake till 1.30 whereupon I got up and stayed up till 4am. Makes you a bit sluggish the next day all this nocturnal life.
...and I can't imagine why anyone would bother reading this tripe I write. So until I can think of something more interesting to write about... goodnight!
......................................................................................................................................
Random thought:
The traffic lights glowing green along the highway looked so beautiful. Was it just the association of their function that made the red ones appear threatening?
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