Sweet sweat

Yesterday I had a really productive and interesting day - and I felt good about it.

I often wonder what makes 'good days' or 'bad days' in my life and it really has very little to do with external factors. Of course if something tragic happens (such as a death or illness to a loved one) or something marvellous (such as winning a million dollars), it's easy to pinpoint the cause of one's place on the personal well-being meter, but most days just aren't like that are they?

They are just days where you follow a fairly usual routine, get up, get to work the way you normally do, have the normal frustrations and successes, get home, eat, sleep, socialise, blog - so why sometimes do I feel good and fulfilled and have a sense of purpose and achievement and other days are such a write-off, so filled with frustration, anger, angst, irritation, boredom and lack of direction or purpose that I feel totally depressed? Does everyone feel like this -or is this some aberration of my mind? Does everyone feel like this sometimes but the swings are less frequent from day to day and there is more reason to the feelings? I don't know. That's another interesting thing isn't it, the fact that you can never really know another's feelings only get hints from their words or actions that are filtered through your own perception to the extent that you do not know whether what you understand from these clues is what that person means, or merely the way in which you relate to it.

I'm always looking for clues to these conundrums and yesterday I might have found a couple. I was kind. Often I get very focussed on my own priorities and brush people off before they have a chance to 'waste' too much of my precious time. Yesterday I spent hours listening to other people's troubles and concerns without rushing them off because I had more pressing things to do. I genuinely tried to engage with their problems or needs with my whole mind. I tried to comfort and searched for ways I could make a difference -and you know, I felt good about myself and happy.

The second one was accepting a last minute dinner invitation from a friend. My initial reaction to social invitations is invariably negative. I don't know why but I feel scared when I get an invitation and immediately I react. I don't stop to think about whether it would be pleasant or an opportunity, my mind just says NO! This time I said yes and ended up visiting a gorgeous tropical-style house with interesting art and fantastic style. I learned a lot I didn't know about my new friend - that she started out as a graphic designer and journalist and has a masters in business administration and set up a community museum in an African village and built all her own benchtops and cupboards and doors herself out of the timber from favourite trees that had been felled by storms - and it is sensational work - more art than joinery. I met two of her neighbours - a young man, an environmental scientist and yoga devotee and a woman who teaches English to migrants and they were warm and fascinating people and I didn't feel out of place at all. We dined on a wide verandah surrounded by palms. It was beautiful.

So today I'm making a commitment to my mental health and wellbeing: from now on I'm listening more and talking less, I'm putting other people's need to share their troubles above my own deadlines and priorities and I'm accepting any invitation because I don't know where it will lead.