Sunday, July 04, 2004
Sunday blues
Ah Sundays! A day off from work, a day to relax and enjoy the company of friends and family! Because of my changed situation, and the fact that all my old friends and family are so far away, I now find Sundays very long indeed - would that week-days were as long.
Today I did the markets and the new Crazy Clarks (a discount or $2 shop), washed the car (still haven't got as low as spending the day at home to wash the hair), chatted to the neighbours, did the ironing and went for a walk along the foreshore - woo hoo! pretty exciting day eh?
Anyway, having slow days gives me time for reflection (not always a good thing) and today, I reflected on the differing nature of men and women and the differing ways society perceives them. I'm reflecting here only on the mature man or woman because youth has it's own mores and they couldn't be more different.
A presentable older man is perceived as a 'catch' by the numerous single women from 30 to death who inhabit this country in increasing numbers. Generalising shamelessly here, but I believe this is mainly because mature (and mature-ish) women want nothing in their life more than a committed relationship; that one special person with whom they can share their life, their successes, failures and just their down-time from the world. These women have another problem as well (increasing with age)it is not really acceptable for them to go out alone (to places where they might meet people).
No, a mature man dining alone, sitting at a bar having a beer, is percieved as a man in control of his life, a man who may be on a business trip, whose wife may be home looking after the grandchildren while he has a quiet beer, a man who prefers for this time to be alone.
A woman has no such place to hide. Other old women will talk to her, but nobody else is the least bit interested. She is a figure of scorn. This woman is alone because nobody wants her, because she has no friends. She is a pariah!
Where can she go with impunity? She can go shopping or to the markets, she can marginally go for a walk; but can she sit in a bar and enjoy the music or dine in a restaurant without feeling as though she is on display and out of place?
Another thing men seem not to mind is going for a drive, seeing a new place alone. I've tried it; believe me, you get there tired from the long drive, you look around, feel like everyone else in the world has a friend except you and nothing is much fun if you have no-one to talk to about it; no-one to discuss that movie, no-one to remark on that amusing incident or that beautiful view.
Coming home I watched the Einstein Factor, a quiz show that airs on Sunday afternoons and the good news is that apart from the specialist categories, I got almost all the answers correct - maybe my mind has started to improve and develop new pathways now that I have to be totally responsible for myself.
The specialist categories are something else entirely. Each contestant chooses a category. Today one young woman chose pop music - she answered every question! Another guy chose world war II aeroplanes - he got almost every question. I can't believe there are people out there who have such a vast - even encyclopaedic- knowledge of such narrow fields. Either they are very smart or very weird, and I'm not sure which.
Today I did the markets and the new Crazy Clarks (a discount or $2 shop), washed the car (still haven't got as low as spending the day at home to wash the hair), chatted to the neighbours, did the ironing and went for a walk along the foreshore - woo hoo! pretty exciting day eh?
Anyway, having slow days gives me time for reflection (not always a good thing) and today, I reflected on the differing nature of men and women and the differing ways society perceives them. I'm reflecting here only on the mature man or woman because youth has it's own mores and they couldn't be more different.
A presentable older man is perceived as a 'catch' by the numerous single women from 30 to death who inhabit this country in increasing numbers. Generalising shamelessly here, but I believe this is mainly because mature (and mature-ish) women want nothing in their life more than a committed relationship; that one special person with whom they can share their life, their successes, failures and just their down-time from the world. These women have another problem as well (increasing with age)it is not really acceptable for them to go out alone (to places where they might meet people).
No, a mature man dining alone, sitting at a bar having a beer, is percieved as a man in control of his life, a man who may be on a business trip, whose wife may be home looking after the grandchildren while he has a quiet beer, a man who prefers for this time to be alone.
A woman has no such place to hide. Other old women will talk to her, but nobody else is the least bit interested. She is a figure of scorn. This woman is alone because nobody wants her, because she has no friends. She is a pariah!
Where can she go with impunity? She can go shopping or to the markets, she can marginally go for a walk; but can she sit in a bar and enjoy the music or dine in a restaurant without feeling as though she is on display and out of place?
Another thing men seem not to mind is going for a drive, seeing a new place alone. I've tried it; believe me, you get there tired from the long drive, you look around, feel like everyone else in the world has a friend except you and nothing is much fun if you have no-one to talk to about it; no-one to discuss that movie, no-one to remark on that amusing incident or that beautiful view.
Coming home I watched the Einstein Factor, a quiz show that airs on Sunday afternoons and the good news is that apart from the specialist categories, I got almost all the answers correct - maybe my mind has started to improve and develop new pathways now that I have to be totally responsible for myself.
The specialist categories are something else entirely. Each contestant chooses a category. Today one young woman chose pop music - she answered every question! Another guy chose world war II aeroplanes - he got almost every question. I can't believe there are people out there who have such a vast - even encyclopaedic- knowledge of such narrow fields. Either they are very smart or very weird, and I'm not sure which.
Comments:
I really think you're just adjusting to being an independent woman and lending far too much importance to the lesser beings out there who are incomplete without a gaggle of hangers on. Sure, friends and a partner are nice, but does one really weigh their happiness so heavily in that direction? You seem to have a very peaceful life.
Shame about the perceptions of independent women, but it has been that way for centuries. I think nature first created the stereotype and we're still evolving as a society, and as yet haven't had all of our brains catch up.
Funny you should write about personal independence and how it reflects back to you from society. Here in the US, as you might now, today is Independence Day.
As far as your quiz show "experts" who seem to know all there is to know about various inanities, it would seem to me that everyone has their niche when it comes to knowledge. Also, most people who go on those type of shows try to study up on a number of subjects, pop trivia to nuclear science -it seems, in the time leading up to their appearance. And some are just extremely well read. Ah, my comment has become a letter. Apologies.
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Shame about the perceptions of independent women, but it has been that way for centuries. I think nature first created the stereotype and we're still evolving as a society, and as yet haven't had all of our brains catch up.
Funny you should write about personal independence and how it reflects back to you from society. Here in the US, as you might now, today is Independence Day.
As far as your quiz show "experts" who seem to know all there is to know about various inanities, it would seem to me that everyone has their niche when it comes to knowledge. Also, most people who go on those type of shows try to study up on a number of subjects, pop trivia to nuclear science -it seems, in the time leading up to their appearance. And some are just extremely well read. Ah, my comment has become a letter. Apologies.
