Thursday, June 10, 2004
The rhythm of life
In tune with the slow rhythm of my heart-beats the rhythm of my life turns; circles within circles. This is my entry for week 17 of blogger idol
A childhood lived in 50s Australia where Vegemite rules and nobody has ever heard of spaghetti that doesn't come in a tin. Where a little boy dressed in lederhosen and eating salami on black bread for lunch is jeered at and called 'dirty pants'. Where mums dress up in hats and gloves to go into town and a lady never shows her knees.
Through teenage years, church dances where bad boys hide flasks of alcohol in their cars and we scream ourselves hoarse in blatant displays of sexual hysteria and adulation for pimply faced youths with small talent who strum guitars and swivel their hips in poor imitation of Elvis; then the Beatles.
Cut short those years by a pregnancy more unimagined than unplanned.
Ten years of child-bride marriage then another ten to another man and two more children.
The rhythms of motherhood now firmly established - bound by the school bell, homework, breakfasts, lunches, and what on earth to cook for dinner -again. Mountains of blue then white school shirts to iron and precious moments of looking into their bright faces, beach picnics, big family Christmases and backyard cricket.
Another man, another life - my children, his children, new alliances and dear old friends. Never quite comfortable, sharp edges and fears. Kids getting older, fighting for their own values, making their own lives.
The empty nest - feeling useless now -empty womb empty home. Wishing I'd paid more attention to important things, now they are beyond my reach.
On the road, travelling, sense of wonder, peace, pleasure. Learning to know myself. Having time for the first time to think.
Tiring of travel, running out of cash, another new chapter opens. A job offer in Darwin. Tropical paradise, new friends, new experiences, new opportunities. Seeing positive results from the creativity I'd only dabbled in before.
Grandchildren have started arriving. What a pleasure to feel their connection and to see that cycle of life begin again in new life with my blood. Born into a different Australia of yoghurt and swimming lessons and kindy gym. Of Thai restaurants, multi-culturalism, pasta with pesto. Where the public health system is failing and no-one sends their kids to the local school anymore unless they can't afford a private education. But the sun still shines and the vast majority do not go hungry - even those who've mortgaged the next thirty years of their lives to a mundane job they fear to lose, to pay off a home with a swimming pool and an inflated price tag.
Five years later and a new chapter of my life has just begun. All I am sure of is that the threads and ties of my life will keep twining around me in this new cycle. And the whole is tied together by common experiences, love and the knowing of years.
A childhood lived in 50s Australia where Vegemite rules and nobody has ever heard of spaghetti that doesn't come in a tin. Where a little boy dressed in lederhosen and eating salami on black bread for lunch is jeered at and called 'dirty pants'. Where mums dress up in hats and gloves to go into town and a lady never shows her knees.
Through teenage years, church dances where bad boys hide flasks of alcohol in their cars and we scream ourselves hoarse in blatant displays of sexual hysteria and adulation for pimply faced youths with small talent who strum guitars and swivel their hips in poor imitation of Elvis; then the Beatles.
Cut short those years by a pregnancy more unimagined than unplanned.
Ten years of child-bride marriage then another ten to another man and two more children.
The rhythms of motherhood now firmly established - bound by the school bell, homework, breakfasts, lunches, and what on earth to cook for dinner -again. Mountains of blue then white school shirts to iron and precious moments of looking into their bright faces, beach picnics, big family Christmases and backyard cricket.
Another man, another life - my children, his children, new alliances and dear old friends. Never quite comfortable, sharp edges and fears. Kids getting older, fighting for their own values, making their own lives.
The empty nest - feeling useless now -empty womb empty home. Wishing I'd paid more attention to important things, now they are beyond my reach.
On the road, travelling, sense of wonder, peace, pleasure. Learning to know myself. Having time for the first time to think.
Tiring of travel, running out of cash, another new chapter opens. A job offer in Darwin. Tropical paradise, new friends, new experiences, new opportunities. Seeing positive results from the creativity I'd only dabbled in before.
Grandchildren have started arriving. What a pleasure to feel their connection and to see that cycle of life begin again in new life with my blood. Born into a different Australia of yoghurt and swimming lessons and kindy gym. Of Thai restaurants, multi-culturalism, pasta with pesto. Where the public health system is failing and no-one sends their kids to the local school anymore unless they can't afford a private education. But the sun still shines and the vast majority do not go hungry - even those who've mortgaged the next thirty years of their lives to a mundane job they fear to lose, to pay off a home with a swimming pool and an inflated price tag.
Five years later and a new chapter of my life has just begun. All I am sure of is that the threads and ties of my life will keep twining around me in this new cycle. And the whole is tied together by common experiences, love and the knowing of years.
Comments:
Its the absolute unexpectedness of life. When I was young I would try and imagine myself at fifty.. and now that I am, nothing of my life is what I would have imagined.
Not the people, the place, the lifestyle.. well, no.. the lifestyle was pretty predictable because I could never see a dotted line going forward that ever intersected with money and middle class accumulations.
And I suppose I really could not imagine what love would ultimately mean. In my twenties I guessed it, but didn't know what happens to long term relationships, or how I was going to rearrange my connections to my family.
This is David Tiley by the way at http://dox.media2.org/barista - I haven't got blogger to obey my command to log in like a good parrot yet.
Not the people, the place, the lifestyle.. well, no.. the lifestyle was pretty predictable because I could never see a dotted line going forward that ever intersected with money and middle class accumulations.
And I suppose I really could not imagine what love would ultimately mean. In my twenties I guessed it, but didn't know what happens to long term relationships, or how I was going to rearrange my connections to my family.
This is David Tiley by the way at http://dox.media2.org/barista - I haven't got blogger to obey my command to log in like a good parrot yet.
# posted by 
: 8:56 pm
: 8:56 pm
Hi David, What a nice surprise to get a comment from a new face. I checked out your fascinating blog by the way and have linked to you for easy access whenever my mind is feeling hungry. And yes, life does throw up a lot of unexpected things, doesn't it!
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